Chances are if I had to get out there and start dating right now I’d likely scare away any potential suitors
I always love listening to experts (especially if they’re male)tell women what it REALLY takes to SNAG THAT MAN.. because isn’t that all we women really want anyhow; to exude some sort of magic elixir which will draw men to us like a moth to a flame?! Well according to a certain expert I heard today pontificating about the mistakes us women make in our search for the one here are some of his non negotiable rules- that if you follow you can bet your bottom dollar you won’t appear, needy, self absorbed, stalkerish or just plain disrespectful to that potential guy you are trying to woo.
But before I tell you these secret tried and true ways to snag that man let me also tell you- that when I was dating- I followed NONE of these rules. NOT A ONE. And yes, it’s true I wasn’t very successful at keeping long-term relationships, aside from my current marriage which I’m proud to say has been going strong for 13 years– but I also don’t think presenting the shiniest version of yourself, and one that you can’t possibly sustain- will help you snag a man for the long run. Sure he might initially stick around because who doesn’t love a perfect Pollyanna who says all the right things and makes their date feel like the center of the universe- but honestly just how long can you keep up the perfect charade without either completely losing your shit and eventually decompensating right before his eyes?! My advice.. BE WHO YOU ARE- warts and all- a person who really likes you will like your flaws, your imperfections- will find them endearing, relatable and honest.
They will appreciate your sense of humor. Anyone who doesn’t, wants a Stepford wife/girlfriend.. and do you really think you could be content walking around with a vacant stare all day, outfitted in a tight flowery dress planting petunias and grocery shopping in stilettos all while smiling like a fembot?!
But in deference to this expert- and to those who think they need rules to snag the one– without further ado- here they are…
-Don’t show up late- it shows you don’t respect time of other person (okay I can dig that but that’s for any situation where you are trying to out your best foot forward!)
-Don’t Dress inappropriately- let some of it out but not ALL of it out. Dress for the occasion. Okay so you don’t want to come dressed in your fishnets and hooker short skirt– but honestly if that’s YOUR ENTIRE CLOSET and that’s your personal style– well then you need to be dating someone who would love you for that style. Case in point when I met my husband I wore full on makeup to a rollerblading date. that was who i was, I didn’t dress down or try to look all sporty- because I wasn’t sporty- and I wanted to be exactly who I was. White eyeshadow and all.
-Don’t have poor eye contact or smile inappropriately and not genuinely- oh and don’t have crazy eyes. Yeah just thinking about trying to not have crazy eyes and not smile inappropriately would probably make me have crazy eyes and smile all kinds of inappropriately. I say smile if you feel like it. And let your eyes be.
-Never talk about your ex on a date- because it means you still want to be on a date with them–I don’t think you should censor stuff that comes naturally. That will just make you nervous. If the guy you’re with can’t handle your truth..well then he can’t handle you.
So you agree or disagree with me?!
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I definitely agree with the “don’t talk about your ex” on but not too sure that the rest are very groundbreaking or anything.
“Oh and don’t make crazy eyes.” LOL, but yes I know what you mean. When I am nervous I sometimes look away or stare or look around. I am sure I look pretty psycho if it is inappropriate. I think this goes for the rest of your body too. Being aware of yourself (even poised or composed) makes an impression. I think of my daughter here who is beautiful but the biggest klutz, and a loud laugher (and she snores). We may have to get her some etiquette lessons when she is older for job interviews and such. Or perhaps she will find a man who loves her as she is.
I often think that I don’t envy anyone on the dating scene now – seems so exhausting and I think my patience is not what it used to be. Who am I lying to – I never was a patient girl