If your husband engaged in an infidelity- would you know?

Most of us believe in the sanctity of marriage and our ability to sustain monogamy with our chosen spouses for 50 fairy tale years (or more) of wedded bliss. We want to believe that our marriage and the bonds we share with our spouse are unbreakable. We choose to tough out the daily marathon work that sustaining a marriage takes- because we believe in its power to center us- and provide us with a soft place to fall.

I’ll be honest- I have never contemplated whether or not my husband would cheat on me– it’s not even a blip on my radar. Which is why it was even more interesting to watch the movie The Kids Are All right (one I strongly believe NEEDS to be on every married couple’s must-see viewing list) which lets us voyeuristically peep in as one half of a couple cheats while the other is completely and utterly in the dark about said affair.

What was also so compelling about the film, was the fact that it showed how complicated and messy marriage can be. That we all; straight, gay, bi couples fall into ruts, let angers fester and even sometimes grow in completely opposite directions. And it is at those crucial moments that an infidelity can appear just so tantalizing… and easy.

I looked at my husband, after we finished watching the film, and in a completely monotone voice said, ” Honey there is something I have to tell you, ” he looked at me- all the color drained from his cheeks and said, ” What?” Short of giving him a bit of a heart attack I confessed that there was nothing to confess rather I wanted to gauge his response to my potential admission of infidelity. To which he responded, “You know you just never know what someone else is hiding.” To which I responded, ” Wait, so what are you hiding?!”

But in all seriousness – if your spouse engaged in an infidelity- do you think you would know?