My husband is NOT a snuggler and tells me I should get a teddy bear
The first time my husband and I shared a bed I had visions of us with arms and legs intertwined for the bulk of the night, sleeping blissfully content in each others love. Unfortunately my husband had a very different attitude in regards to exactly how we would be sharing our marital bed. While he was all for getting busy in the biblical sense in our boudoir, physically sleeping together was an entirely different scenario. My husband had strict guidelines as to how we would share said bed; he needed to sleep on the right side, he needed to have separate comforters and we were not allowed to venture into one another’s private bed space once we closed our eyes. Of course the occasional cuddle was permitted, but when we first were married and he was on-call dialyzing patients at all hours of the night- he convinced me that a good night’s sleep was of the essence, and that if I “laid all up on him while he was trying to get his snooze on- well it was just too sticky, uncomfortable and distracting.”
Wanting to be a good wife, I acquiesced and after we said our proper good nights and I love yous for the past 14 years he has retreated to his side of the bed and I have to mine.
I guess things could be worse– I mean at least we are sleeping in the same bed and the truth is there have been many a night when I just needed to feel him beside me and I’ve “crossed this imaginary line” and hugged him and, thankfully, he has relaxed his strict no touching after lights out rules just a bit. Put it this way- I haven’t been kicked out of the bed yet, and just knowing he’s there right beside me, well it’s just plain comforting. By the way I figure he owes me a compromise or two considering that I’ve been relegated to listening to sports talk radio every night as its the only way my husband can float off to dreamland, but the alternative of not having him in the bed with me, well I think I would miss it. In fact just a few nights ago, I was up at 2:30 am after having an awful nightmare about my dad who passed away several months ago- and I couldn’t stop shaking. I woke up my husband and he literally rocked me back to sleep, of course shortly thereafter, we drew that imaginary line on the bed again.
Still this has all got me to thinking-being that my husband needs so much space in our bed and that he’s not comfortable with snuggling with me all night and normally says,” if you need to snuggle that badly I’ll buy you a teddy bear,” perhaps getting separate beds might not be such a bad thing in the grand scheme of things.
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Who’s husband does like to cuddle? Mine doesn’t either, but sometimes (like on weekends when he doesn’t have to wake up early in the morning) he does it because he knows I like him being close.
Good post.