Should you tell your spouse everything about your past or are some secrets yours to keep?
A man was awarded $100,000 after he successfully sued his wife over the fact that they had a baby he deemed ugly — and which he subsequently came to find out was the result of the fact that his wife slightly misrepresented her true self to him prior to their marriage- aka- she had $100,000 worth of plastic surgery that she conveniently “forgot” to tell him about.
Of course this happy couple could have gone along their merry way- with this secret between them- if not for the fact that she gave birth to a baby- who her husband happened to notice shared NONE of her lovey characteristics. And well; he got pissed and thought- why should I have an UGLY baby when my wife is so perfect? And then the truth came out; his perfect specimen of a wife- was all a smoke screen- girlfriend had a boatload of plastic surgery.. hence popping out a baby who resembled her former self. You can read all about this interesting turn of events right here:
Perhaps Emerson has a point?
But the bigger question this story brings to mind is this? How much of the sordid details of your life pre meeting your spouse- do you need to reveal- or more aptly should you reveal? Like for instance that pesky question of – “how many sexual partners did you have prior to meeting me? (the answer by the way should ALWAYS be ” I don’t remember because being with you was like the first time) Or perhaps, as this man should’ve asked, “Did you have any cosmetic surgery– and not just the usual breast implants and rhinoplasty- but you know– an entire face metamorphosis?”
Personally I think- when you enter into as union as intimate as a marriage- there should be nothing you can’t feel completely comfortable sharing with your better half. You have taken a vow to care and commit to them – and part of that vow is to enter into this union with your truest and most unabashed self- which means- coming clean about the fact that the nose you are sporting has been broken and put back together is probably one of those things you might want to tip your spouse off to- lest you pop out a kid with that original nose and your spouse thinks perhaps that kid is someone else’s…
So have you to your spouse EVERYTHING about your life pre-marriage?
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Wonderful article! I think you should share everything with your partner. Trust yourself, your partner & your relationship to handle truth.
I didn’t reveal everything to my husband right when we met but I think he got the full story during our four years of dating. My family had a pretty serious history of mental illness, I kept some of that from him for as long as I could, but a few years later he would have found out regardless when my parent’s 40 year marriage dissolved and my father entered an institution.