The wedding ring and why I don’t wear mine
As a 24 year old year old I was blinded by the brilliance of a Tiffany cut engagement ring, as in I HAD TO HAVE IT, which is actually quite antithetical to my nature. But I think I got slightly swept up by that crazy Bridezillaesque attitude that claims some of us women who allow themselves to get lost in trappings of becoming a bride.
All of a sudden I had this pressing need to have a Tiffany cut engagement ring- to which my clueless husband shrugged his shoulders. So I did what any other self respecting must have a shiny perfect cut, and clarity diamond engagement ring about to be bride would do…I marched him to Tiffany’s on fifth avenue and had an associate get all hot and bothered convinced we were shopping for our forever ring at Tiffany’s. And then he knew- this is what I wanted, and four months after we met– my man presented me with that gleaming diamond.
On July 19, 2012 it will be 15 years to the day that we first met, and I think I have only worn my ring a handful of times. Don’t get me wrong, I love that ring- and I feel like my husband, who had waited till the ripe old age of 39 to present someone with a ring like that- was truly using that moment and that piece of jewelry as a symbol of his devotion to our relationship. He wanted me to know that my needs were important to him. And in that respect alone- after a whirlwind fourth month courtship , that ring solidified our commitment to one another.
Looking back I also think my need to wear and possess such a piece of jewelry was more about this perceived pressure to get that ring to flash around for others than for my own gratification,and well, at 38 years old, I feel no need to wear it. My husband, on the other hand has not taken off his wedding band since the day we said I do.
I’ve told him time and again that it is unnecessary to wear that ring. That we don;t need a physical totem of our bond. What we have is deeper than any tangible piece of jewelry. Our commitment needs no physical manifestation- to which he says, ” gee Melissa I WISH you would’ve felt this way 15 years ago when I forked over a small fortune to get you that princess cut Tiffany engagement ring.”
My husband still wants me to wear my ring, and says he will be buried in his. I say eh- I’m not interested. How do you feel about wearing your wedding ring- do you? Do you think your husband should too?
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At 7 months pregnant with my youngest, I had to have my rings cut off because I could not get them off. My youngest is now two and I have done nothing to repair it. One day I will. I still love my husband, but do not have the rings to wear.