Tuesdays with the sugar daddy: the vacation curmudgeon
Being that we are about to embark on a WEEK LONG road trip–I figured it was time to tackle a subject near and dear to the sugar daddy’s heart– why he is SUCH a curmudgeon while on vacation (he gets mad but I usually refer to him as the late Andy Rooney while we’re vacationing– yes his eye brows could use a trim- and oh how he HATES buying any kind of beverage while anywhere other than a grocery store).
Me: Honey why do you always look like you’re constipated when we go on vacation?
The sugar daddy: As hard as I try to be fun on vacation, it goes against my nature to pay money on frivolous tourist traps.
Me: But honey that’s what ALL vacations are–oh and how do you Try to be fun?
The sugar daddy:I try to take part in the kid’s activities and I try not to be bored all the time, it’s just hard work to be on a kid’s vacation.
Me: But honey you took a three hour nap on day two of our vacation?
The sugar daddy: I didn’t take a nap- I just closed my eyes and lied on the bed.
Me: Oh I thought that’s what a nap was–my mistake. So what really grind your gears about vacations?
The sugar daddy: I hate arcades; if I wanted to flush my money down the toilet I’d go to the bathroom. I hate spas– $49 manicures that are ruined in two days. I hate spending three dollars for a cup of soda, that’s all ice.
Me: Wow is there any vacation you’d feel comfortable taking- one that wasn’t trying to get you?
The sugar daddy: Not really.
The sugar daddy: Even though we had this big talk about how I was going to be fun, and I thought I could, it goes against my grain.
Me: Do you think most men would agree with your stance?
The Sugar daddy: Yes, because they work hard for their money and they don’t like throwing it out at tourist traps. I went in knowing what I was getting into but I guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I guess it’s my cheap nature– what can I say.
Me: But of course we’re going to keep going on vacations regardless..right?
The Sugar Daddy: Yes because when you and the kids are happy then I’m happy–that’s what gives me joy, but it still hurts to pay three dollars for a cup of ice.