When you are single you want to be married and when you are married you never kiss in the rain
I was convinced after dating for what felt like an eternity and lamenting ala Charlotte from Sex in the City that “My hair hurts” (from being styled one too many times to achieve that perfect first date night brilliance) that getting married would be that ultimate panacea to my life’s conundrums. I believed that my life would officially begin on the cusp of saying I do and that my single days of yellow straw grass would magically develop into lush emerald green blades of glory.
Well as a married woman I can tell you this- the grass is always greener on the other side, until you get to that other side at which point you realize, you didn’t appreciate the grass you had, when you had it. You didn’t luxuriate in it and you realize that the new grass is not even close to the emerald color you thought it would be.
Still not convinced… let me give you some examples:
Pre marriage grass greener: Getting married I will FINALLY have that permanent Saturday night date. We’ll go to jazz lounges, make out at movies and I’ll always have someone to kiss in the rain.
Post marriage (grass not so green): Sure I might be physically sitting in the same vicinity as said Saturday night date but I can assure you that’s the extent of our interaction. Those jazz lounges and make out sessions are practically nil and my husband doesn’t like to get wet-aka he hates the rain.
Pre marriage grass greener: Being married, I would finally have someone who would listen to me and talk to me whenever I felt compelled to have a discussion, unload my anxiety, bounce ideas off another person, or just plain emit pure drivel. Marriage meant I’d have a permanent fixed person who I wouldn’t have to wait to call me at which point we could talk– I could call him… I could be needy because… he was my husband he had to listen to me.
Post marriage (grass not so green): Sure I have someone who appears to be listening to me, but I’m convinced as I am spilling out my innards, most of what he hears is that adult voice Charlie Brown and The Peanuts gang usually heard that sounded something like; “wawawawa”.
So you see, I think in life– whatever station you are presently in- when you look across the way- sure the grass might seem to be a tad greener and sure your marital expectations will pale in comparison to your marital reality- but it’s how you choose to deal with it- that will define your happiness.
What is your take on marital expectations versus the reality?